It happens to all of us. We're friends with a guy who we know is player but for whatever reason we fall for them. Serial cheaters can be very charming, handsome, witty, and wild. In other words, it's easy to be attracted to them and that's why they always have a flock of girls buzzing around them. So once you start getting romantic feelings for them, and you're thinking you might be just the girl to reign them in, here's a few things you should know.
Is Your Cheating Friend Starting to Grow on You?
So he's started to grow on you and now you're wondering what it would be like to be more than just friends. What if you're the girl who can bring him to heel and make him see the light of monogamous relationships? What if sex with you is all the sex he will ever need for the rest of his life? It's a nice story, but cheaters don't think like that. They love the idea of having sex with every girl they meet. It's a power thing for them and you should know that before getting into it. I made this mistake once. I had a friend who was a notorious philanderer, cute, charming, smart, funny, but he just wasn't big on monogamous relationships. That wasn't his relationship style. It wasn't personal. He didn't mean to hurt anyone. He just wasn't about all that monogamy stuff and my belief that I could turn him into a civilized monogamist was foolhardy and misguided.
Dating a Known Cheater is Dangerous
When we started sleeping together, it was great. I instantly fell in love with him. In some ways I'm still in love with him even though I'm happily attached and in a monogamous relationship with someone I care deeply for. But sex with my cheater friend was dangerous and thrilling, as was every aspect of our relationship. When we were together I knew he was with me and only me, and that made me the most powerful girl in the room, because all the other girls wanted him too. But it didn't last.
Is it Worth the Risk?
To his credit, he never cheated on me in the traditional sense. He never went behind my back or lied to my face about where he had been. He was smart enough to know who he was and what he wanted from relationships. He was smart enough to know that there were girls out there who shared his values when it came to sex and romance and that I wasn't one of them. He said he didn't want to disappoint me or hurt me. That he loved me and respected me. At the time I didn't believe him because I was hurt that he was breaking up with me. I didn't understand why if he was having sex with me he had to go out and have sex with other girls too. In time I forgave him though. He was just being who he was.
Think Long and Hard, Then Act on Impulse
If you think you're going to turn your hot cheater friend into your personal boyfriend, think again. It's not in his DNA to be in a monogamous relationship and there isn't anything you can do to change that. But you should try anyway. The time I spent with him was kind of awesome, and even though it faded quickly, it burned hot for the short time we were together.
