Having an affair isn’t something a woman typically brags about. In fact, women can be more unforgiving than men of an adulterer and even harsher on themselves when they find themselves compromising their own monogamous values. Whether it turns out to be an anomaly or a prolonged affair you just can’t shake, there are plenty of good reasons why wives and girlfriends would want to keep their infidelity a secret.
If lying about an affair doesn’t come natural to you, there’s no shame in having an honest nature. Your significant other may not be the love of the life, but maybe he treats you well and hurting him is the last thing you want to do. Relationships of convenience can be particularly vulnerable to betrayal if passion isn’t reciprocal. Your nice guy may be an early finisher but strong on effort. Physical attraction and sexual chemistry can strike us anywhere at any time. If your relationship isn’t providing you with the attention and intimacy you crave naturally, it may just be a matter of time before you’re cruising online dating sites in Cairns for a guy who can help you finally experience an orgasm.
If you’ve already committed the deed, and you’re prepared to take your secret to the grave, or, if you’re contemplating a fling with someone you have the hots for, you’ve come to the right place for practical advice that will help cover your tracks. Consider these simple tidbits for keeping your affair a secret forever
Choose a discreet partner.
Ladies, I can’t stress this point enough. Hastily choosing the wrong partner for your secret affair can have disastrous consequences for your reputation and your relationship. A guy who can’t keep it in his pant can’t be counted on to keep your sex life private. His reputation is built on advertising his sexual exploits and even if he promises to be discreet at first, it may only be a matter of time before he confides in his male friends. If any of his friends are in a committed stable relationship, you can bet his significant other will also hear about it, and the rumor mill will be in full swing for weeks or months before you catch wind of it.
A one night stand or a fling is never an excuse to make poor, unhealthy choices when it comes to your body. Some guys will try to pressure you in the heat of the moment to take the risk of having unprotected sex, but do you really want to explain to your husband how you got an STD when you’ve been sleeping in separate beds for the past six months? Could you live with the guilt of knowing you may have passed an STD on to your doting, unsuspecting boyfriend?
Keep track of your expenses.
The most common mistake made by husbands who cheat on their wives is leaving a trail of unusual or unfamiliar expenses on his monthly credit card statement. If you share the management of your household finances, you’ll need more planning than typically is required to cover your tracks adequately. Open a separate bank account at a different branch and keep its existence a secret. Don’t stash your debit card or secret prepaid credit card in your wallet where your spouse might come across it. Opt for electronic statements and conduct your transactions online whenever possible to avoid leaving physical receipts accidentally for him to find.
Designate appropriate boundaries.
Before you get hot and heavy with your chosen partner in infidelity, work out in the most direct terms appropriate methods, channels, and times for communication between you. Designate when is the best time to exchange texts and set clear boundaries for the frequency of your sexual intimacy. Make it clear what lengths you are prepared to go for the sake of your marriage and what you’re uncomfortable with. Your secret lover may not want to be exclusively involved with you, and you’ll need to address that openly before your emotions get involved more deeply.
Avoid familiar places together.
Cell phones with cameras are everywhere. It only takes a second for a neighborhood acquaintance to snap and text a photo of you two being ‘friendly’ at the local book shop to your husband at work. If you want to keep your cheating a secret from your current boyfriend or husband, stay away from public places you both frequent. Even an off-the-cuff remark by a staff member could trigger a sudden barrage of invasive questions from your significant other about your recent whereabouts.
It can sometimes help to talk to other women whose opinion you trust for their experiences with fidelity. Online dating sites in Cairn are chalk-full of stories by real women, sharing their experiences and advice on infidelity and how they kept it a secret. Just be careful you’re not discussing your plans with the biggest gossip in town.
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